


I never said that she stole my money

by johnlocked_snarry



Category: No Fandom
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, One Shot, Original Character(s), Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:26:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23428441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/johnlocked_snarry/pseuds/johnlocked_snarry
Summary: The sentence "I never said that she stole my money" can be interpreted differently when you stress different words of the sentence. I used all of them in this one fic. It's bad. Have fun with it and pls don't die reading it.
Kudos: 1





	I never said that she stole my money

**Author's Note:**

> Insert relevant disclaimer here.

Characters:  
Jake - police officer  
Mr Walter - victim of pickpocket  
Jessica Blake - accused suspect

"Alright, let's get this straight,"said Jake, exasperated. "You are here to report that this girl, Jessica Blake, stole your money-"

"I never said that she stole my _money_ ," the man interrupted.

Deep breaths, Jake. "Okay, so can you tell me what she stole, Mr Walter?"

"I never said that _she_ stole-"

"Just tell me what was stolen from you, Mr Walters. The faster you do, the faster we can help you get your belongings back."

"Well, ok," said Mr Walters, flustered at Jake's attitude. "So uh I lost my keys and wallet, which contains my IDs, some cash-"

"And you saw Miss Blake stealing them?"

"Well, no-"

"Then why are you saying that Miss Blake stole your money?" shouted Jake, more than a little frustrated.

"Well, excuse me," Mr Walter growled at Jake, annoyed at being interrupted yet again. "I never _said_ that she stole my money. You are the one who keep assuming so."

"Then why on earth are you accusing her then??"

"I never said that she stole _my_ money. I did see her stealing someone else's money."

"Okay that's something that we will need to look into later, but right now let's focus on your belongings, Mr Walters." Taking a deep breath to calm down, Jake continued. "So you are saying that you've lost your...?"

"My wallet, with my ID, driving license and some cash. And also my car keys."

"Okay. And how is Miss Blake involved on this?"

"I don't know. _I_ never said that she stole my-"

"Then why are you accusing her in the first place?"

"Because I saw her stealing from someone else and I'm just doing my civic duty to report her!"

"Hey! I didn't do shit to you so why the hell are you so hell bent on reporting me?" Miss Blake exclaimed suddenly, unable to keep her silence any longer. To be honest Jake has sort of forgotten that she was there, but god he wished that she weren't. This is going to be a lot messier than he thought.

"Please, calm down, Miss Blake, and let him finish," placated Jake. "I need his statement to get to the bottom of this."

"Actually that's all I have to say. I lost my stuff, I saw this girl stealing other people's shit. I'm here to report my lost belongings and to report her for stealing," finished Mr Walter.

"Alright, cool. So just to be clear, you don't think that she stole your things?"

"No I don't think so. She was opposite the street I was at when I lost my stuff."

"And how are you sure that this lady, who you assumed-"  
"- _saw_! I saw her-"  
"-to have stolen your stuff. Didn't steal things from you?"  
"Quite frankly officer yes."  
"Ok then," finally getting somewhere, Jake gave a sigh and continued. "Explain to me then, either of you, how we found a wad of cash on Miss Blake here with both of your fingerprints?"

"Well, officer," started Mr Walters, his cheek pinking slightly, "I was... meeting her... a while ago before my things were stolen you see. That's how I know her by name too."

"So the cash is not stolen?"

"I never said that she _stole_ my money. I _never_ said that she stole my money. Why is it so hard to understand?" Thundered Mr Walters suddnly at the end of his patience. "I'm saying that I saw her stealing someone. Else's. Money. Not. Mine. How many times to I have to..."

This is gonna be a long night. And not for the first time since Mr Walters walked in, Jake sighed.


End file.
